When I hit that stage in life where I realized I was done dating for the sake of dating and wanted to settle down and find a “keeper.” I realized that the kinds of people we like to date weren’t necessarily "keeper" material. Sometimes you need to really examine your list of wants and needs, and figure out the differences between a "keeper" and a "tosser."
1. A keeper views you as their partner
Together, you are a team. And as that team, you are both individually stronger than you could be on your own. Your partner respect everything about you - your thoughts, ambitions, opinions, the things you say, the company you keep, your job. They appreciate the person you are and the choices you have made.
2. A keeper is willing to put effort into the relationship
If there is a problem, they want to find a way to solve it - work harder, be better, be their best self. The important thing to keep in mind is that people have different ideas of what it means to put effort into a relationship. For example, your partner might believe that working hard and being good at their job is putting in effort because they want to provide for you and give you nice things and a comfortable lifestyle.
3. A keeper is able to communicate, even about tough issues (even if one person gets upset with the other).
With the right partner, you won’t be afraid of bringing up certain things for fear of rocking the boat. You know they respect you and will see what you have to say as valid and important. Every relationship will face its share of obstacles. There will be fights, miscommunications, arguments, and also times when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The only way to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together and this starts with open communication.
4. A keeper is trustworthy
You feel safe being open and honest with your partner and are not afraid of them violating that trust or using anything against you. You trust that they won’t leave you unexpectedly, that they are genuine, that they mean what they says. You don’t feel an underlying sense of suspicion, like they have some ulterior motives. You trust that they cares about you deeply and would never intentionally hurt you.
5. A keeper wants to marry you
When a partner is ready to get married and met a girl/guy they think they can spend their life with, they know pretty early on. That’s not to say they get engaged right away, but they know this is it and the partner knows it too. When your partner is ready for a serious commitment, it’s usually pretty obvious.
How did you know when your partner was a keeper vs. tosser? Let us know!